Wait a minute! Ok. I am now ready to tell you about my adventure to Blue Smoke, a restaurant near Grammery Park. On a sidenote, Grammery Park is a private park: it's locked up and only for the use of residents in the surrounding townhouses and apartments.
One day I was out for my daily stroll, contemplating the universe, when I came across this park and decided I wanted to enter. Yet I didn't have the key! Being who I am, this seemed more a minor annoyance than anything else. I scaled the fence, yet found myself unable to pull myself over the threshold. My pant leg got stuck to a great Concord Deluxe fence spire, and a massive rip commenced forth, tearing off my entire pant leg!
Right at that moment, an officer of the law shouted out, "hey you there!" and I fell back onto the street and proceeded to run away, run away, sans a pant leg. A group of old ladies covered their mouths and gasped. "Make way!" I screamed, the officer in hot pursuit. In the end I ended up jailed for the evening, and was forced to pay a miniscule fine, both for trespassing and indecent exposure, which I thought preposterous as the one resulted from the other. It wasn't my fault that my pants were ripped!
Wait a minute! The matter at hand.
Blue Smoke is a barbecue house, which serves barbecue representing various styles. I did some research on this matter, the matter of barbecue, and it seems there are four main regional styles. Memphis, North Carolina, Kansis City and Texas. All are different, and I am too important or busy to tell you about them, but go to the link and read more if you're interested.
Blue Smoke is a delightfully outfitted restaurant, very "woody" and very fun. There are metal stars, of blue and white, and hang from the ceilings. I suppose they want to remind us of the all-American nature of barbecue. Again, I am too busy and important to talk more about these issues, but you can find out more if you really want to.
There were a large group of us, a most splendid team of food adventurers. I, of course, was the most splendid.
I started my meal off with fries with spicy cheese sauce. Frankly, these fries were delicious, salty and fluffy with a crispy exterior and a heavenly smooth interior. The cheese sauce was not particularly spicy, but rich and superbly satisfying. I will tell you right now this was my favorite part of the meal!
I ordered a pulled pork platter, which arrived at the table as a massive heap of meat on top of a huge piece of toast. The meat was enjoyable, but can I say I was blown away? No, not exactly. The vinegary Carolina sauce helped quite a lot. The cabbage slaw was fresh and cut the fat of the meat. Beans were very "beany."
For the final attack on my digestive system, I ordered a banana cream pie. I find, in old age, I must eat dessert with every meal to make up for the difficulties of being an adult. The pie was respectable, with pure chunks of banana , and a nice smattering of walnuts, a nice touch I had not yet come across in my banana cream pie travels.
At the end, Blue Smoke was nice enough to invite us into the back to take a tour of where they smoke the meat. It was there that the pitmaster used the phrase "slow and low" to describe how the meat is cooked: slowly and at a low temperature.
I left Blue Smoke happy. A fine place, to be sure. I was so happy about the cheese fries that I decided to once more scale the fence at Grammercy Park. My excitement and enegry was offset by all of the food in my stomach, however, and I tore the other leg off of my pants while trying to get over to the other side (I only own one pair of pants)! I therefore was relegated to wearing an embarassing pair of impromptu shorts, and I looked like the lead singer from ACDC!
"Hey you" shouted the very same officer of the law, and yet another chase ensued. Yes, I ended up in jail once more and was charged with the same offenses and fined yet again. Ah, humanity!
The end.
